Control (Problems)
Control (Problems): You make even the littlest of problems into huge big problems that make you seek for help.
You in turn start to control other peoples lives so that your problems go away.
Does using control help you in any way?
- Does it make the pain go away?
- Is it fun to control other peoples lives?
- Does it make it easier to live?
- Does it let you control people?
- Does it mean that you are weak?
- Are you just afraid of losing people?
- Should you make such a big deal or such little things?
- Is it a way to get away from things you don't like?
- Is it a way to get to something that you do like?
Answer:
Control (Problems) is not something that you want to do. All this does is change both the person controlling and the person being controlled.
Controller:
For the controller making you problems really big just shows that one, you are weak, two, you want to get away. three, you don't want to be independent, four, you like controlling other people because it makes you feel so good.
All you are doing is making things harder on yourself. You will in turn have a super hard time not controlling others to get you "problems" taken care of.
To fix this, you will need to stop making ever little thing a problem. This is the main thing that controllers do. They make everything a big problem, which changes their mood, which changes the mood in the one being controlled.
Its a huge domino effect. Controlling people shouldn't be fun. It should feel bad for the reason you are making someone do something against their will (at the beginning it will be against their will until you have controlled them so much that they "think that they are doing the right thing" but you are still doing it against their will. You just changed there way of thinking).
You need to stop being a controller. If you have to, yet not recommended, control someone to help you stop. Make sure that the person knows that you are trying to do this. If not they will "come to you help", more of destroy what you have accomplished or make you keep on controlling.
Person being controlled:
This person at the beginning would be affected by the controller. Later on you will see the effects of being controlled.
For example, the person "goes to the need of someone, a.k.a the controller" and things don't go so well. This will create the person being controlled to become mad, or very moody.
The changes aren't that hard to see.
The only way to fix this problem is to start to make the controllers life "perfect". What I mean by this is that, the controller wouldn't need the person being controlled for everything. The problems will start to be very little. Soon the person being controlled will be back to the kind of person he/she was before, or, the person will be stuck in the situation he/she is in. Or the person will be different, but not have the effects of being controlled.
Yet, sometimes person being controlled became so changed that going back isn't going to happen. The best bet is to try to see if the person being controlled can be changed. If not you are going to have to deal with that person. But don't leave that person unless its for a super good reason.
The person being controlled is so used to being controlled, that if everyone randomly gives up and left him/her, that they might go crazy. Or they might make themselves change. Yet don't try it. Most of the time the person will go crazy.
-KeymasterPL
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